The last journeys I wrote about occurred at the end of 2011 and beginning of 2012. There were more during the first quarter of 2012 but they were rather ordinary as far as journeys go and sometimes I didn’t keep good notes. In February I only wrote about two journeys. Sometimes that’s how it goes, life intervenes and we get busy. In March I spent a lot of time with my drum, using it and painting it. Toward the end of the first quarter I signed up for the Healing With Spiritual Light seminar April 19th through April 22nd. It would be held at a religious campus in Chicago’s western suburbs. The day before the seminar I had an experience which, in retrospect, was part of my preparation for what I would learn there.

On Wednesday, April 18th I went to the dentist. He is located in Frankfort, Illinois where I lived for twenty-five years. Before the appointment I drove past our second house on Hawthorne Road. It looked different than it had in 2001 when I moved, but it still looked attractive, not much different than when we lived there. Next I went to the dentist and had a filling. After the appointment I decided to drive over to Frankfort Square where our first house was. We had moved in there in 1976 when our kids were little. This house had changed completely. The siding was a different color; the landscaping was different. Even the surrounding neighborhood looked completely different. As I drove back to Blue Island I started feeling depressed and sad. Although we had lived there only eight years, Marilyn and I had put a lot of dreams, energy and work into fixing it up, inside and out, and now there was nothing left to show for what we had done.

When I got home I sat on my back steps. I felt so depressed and sad that I could have cried. Fortunately for me one of my tenants, Toni, walked past my back yard, saw me and came by to see what was wrong. She said I looked liked someone had died. I didn’t tell her, but I felt like part of me had died. As she chatted with me and cheered me up, I realized I was soon facing my 68th birthday as well as my 50th high school reunion. Change was the issue and it was beating the heck out of my psyche. I started feeling better but must admit I was surprised at how this affected my ego. It had a stronger hold on me than I realized. Little did I know that this was a prelude and that the coming seminar would provide an experience that would be even more difficult for my ego to handle.

Next blog: Healing With Spiritual Light: Journey #1