Hey Paul,

I couldn’t find the original link to my soul retrieval, but I had another breakthrough I wanted to share. A year later and I am still having breakthroughs… Thanks again. This is a combination of meditations and dreams over the last couple of days.

The last three weeks have been quite a whirlwind. Drama at work, an amazing vacation and psychic reading in Sedona, a desperate escape from my job, lots of worry and reconnecting with the root chakra, having an amazing heart chakra moment with my boss, and me in complete, dumbfounded peace.

I went into the work meeting with an objective script about my perspective of some recent issues, had a mirror shoved in my face… though I didn’t know it at the time… about how my heart chakra has been closed off. How I perceive their behavior towards me, I was irritating to them…. Yet she says I make those others feel the exact same way. The people around you are a reflection of you.

I saw the beams of light interconnect. A sudden look towards the sky with glowing green heart chakras. One connection is made and thousands respond to the call. They accept, they love, they embrace you with compassion. One tiny speck, in a thousand points of light. I had a constructive conversation with someone who would be the only person right now I consider a long shot mother figure, and there was no yelling, no screaming, no passive aggressive exchange, no humiliation.

I told her my grievances and she provided some back. We discussed it, shared in some recent traumas in each other’s lives, and she was worried about how I was feeling. HOW I WAS FEELING! I told her I needed to clear the air about a few things, told her how upset I was during recent interaction in the office and she said I had every right to be upset about it. I HAD EVERY RIGHT. I finally chose to stand up and tell someone, who is in an intimidating hierarchal role for me personally and she worried about my feelings, telling me I had the right to feel them.

I have barely slept since Thursday night. I looked at dark ceilings processing the emotions, crying, tossing and turning, mulling it all over, seeing another truth, reworking it, seeing another and then waking this morning to peaceful clarity that I hadn’t felt in a long time. My mother made me feel that way. Like crisp, white linen eyelet dresses. The peace of morning light seeping through leaded glass panes, the rainbow prisms scatter, you see the dust play its way through the beams of burning white light. It was stark, but peaceful. It was innocent, playful, uninhibited. Goofy, silly, giggling. I believe this was the final merging of the inner child aspect I gained back last February during my Soul Retrieval. I gained back my childlike wonder. I know I was always very chatty, wanted to know everything about everything.

On the other hand, my stepmother had a black heart. Later, when she came on the scene, she took sport in emotional abuse. I was a wrench in her perfectly laid out life plan, but I came with a social security check so she kept me around. Last night, those wounds healed and this morning, I don’t feel the black heart anymore. Just white, blinding light…. Leading me somewhere. It’s amazing all we go through to experience the human condition. The contracts we sign before the next incarnation. I finally understand that my karmic issue this time around is healthy boundaries. I am an empathic healer. I have always known, but really would hate to admit it before. I looked at it as a negative instead of a positive. See as I was brought up with the black heart, I felt that I had to feel and internalize others pain. It was my duty. I was the emotional dumping ground. If I didn’t, I was made to feel guilty for not accepting each spoonful. It’s true… deep pains always find their way to the surface. The black has bled from my heart and I feel the burning white light pulse through once more. Namaste.